I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You smell like stripper and shame
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
where are my eyebrows?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
