That's intense
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
