No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
