i just had sex bonerless
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize