her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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