Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
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I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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