Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Less talking, more tequila
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
