He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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