remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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