Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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