it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
