Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
