I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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