It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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