I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
