Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize