I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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