hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
