3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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