**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
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