Can i not drive my cunt home
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
