im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I don't deserve a penis
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
