So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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