At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize