and you said cock pushups were impossible
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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