omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
