went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
