tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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