whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize