I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
