Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
BRING THE BAGELS
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
