Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
