...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
