explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i dont even know how to be here
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
