yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
