yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
