i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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