I hate your face
North Korea, Best Korea!
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
