I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
