He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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