I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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