My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
