What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
