yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
