I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
