what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
