I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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