Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
