Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize