He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
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I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize