the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
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They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
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what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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