Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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