It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
