Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
