I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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